Road Trip Antics: Joe and Prairie Dual Survival

I always knew the survival techniques passed along on those shows like Man Vs. Wild, Survivor Man, and Dual Survivor would come in handy one of these days. Well, actually, I didn't; actually, I may have mocked a time or two when Bear Grylls unnecessarily drank water out of some poor animal's intestines, or when Cody Lundin and Dave Canterbury argued over what had more caloric significance to the body--honey or woodland grubs. But all mocking aside, the advice of aforementioned "survivalists" ran through my mind as we stood on icy, snowy Wolchulsan Mountain in south-eastern Korea as the fog and snow made visibility all but impossible. The hike, which is strenuous in the best of weather, was made all the more difficult by the snow, the wind, and our general lack of food.

To be fair to ourselves and our smarts when it comes to outdoor adventures, we didn't think the hike would last as long as it did. Round trip it shouldn't have been more than three hours. Three hours is not so long to go without food. Six hours, however, is way too long to go without food. Yes, Bear Grylls, I hear you admonishing us for not having thought ahead and taken into account the possibility of being stranded on a snow besieged mountain.

Here are the things we did wrong:
A. As I've just said, we didn't bring enough Food. Two slightly mooshed croissants do not count.
B. We started the hike way too late in the day.
C. We didn't have enough water.
D. Joe did not have crampons to deal with the snow and ice.
E. We let our pride get in the way of smart decision making.
F. We didn't bring our cell phone to call the emergency number on any one of the emergency sign posts along the way (not that this was an emergency, and not that I approve of the combination of cell phones and nature in the first place. Humph). And yes, there is cell phone reception on mountains. There is cell phone reception on the subway, in tunnels, and anywhere a person can think to go in Korea.

Here's the thing, we really, really wanted to reach this awesome bridge that spans 52 meters between two rock clusters, and hovers 120 meters above ground. We were focused. We were motivated. We would not be deterred. And so on we hiked, as the temperature dropped and the snow and wind picked up, and the water in our canteens got lower and lower. Joe kept reminding me that Bear Grylls had instructed him to put snow in a canteen and place the canteen close to the body so that it melts. I kept thinking of being poisoned by mysterious yellow snow. Despite the cruel inclines, we kept going. I got more and more nervous. I think Joe was communicating with snow squirrels at this point and ignoring the looming calamity that I was sure would befall us. Running through my head were the words of Bear, Cody, and Dave: be smart, don't expend energy if you don't need to, and if you have a bad feeling about a situation, you should probably get out of it. As we reached the top of another particularly grueling incline and I looked down at a snowy covered ridge that headed downward for what seemed like eternity, I made the call and told Joe that what we were doing was not smart. And even if we got to the bridge alive (yes, dramatic), we would probably slip and fall to our deaths below, and/or not be able to see the spectacular view that the guidebooks promised.

We decided to turn around, 0.4 kilometers short of our destination. Sigh. We inhaled the two croissants I had stuffed into my inner coat pocket and started back. The descent was easier for me than Joe thanks to my crampon-like shoe chains; Joe's hiking boots kept slipping and sliding on the ice. With a little mental shout out to Bear Grylls, Joe decided to slide/sled down the trail on his butt. It worked amazingly well (thanks, Bear!) until he almost slid, full force, into me. I watched as his spread-eagled legs careened toward me and stopped just short of knocking me over. Good stuff.

Anyway, obviously we made it out alive. Ha. Night hit the mountain pretty fast, and we hiked the last ten minutes in relative darkness. Despite not having gotten to our destination, and being cold and hungry, it was a pretty awesome hike. The best part was all the greenery despite the season--the varying shades of bamboo, pine trees, and other trees that really should have lost their leaves by then were beautiful against the snow that blanketed the mountain.

We got back to our car, tired and happy, and foraged around for any food we could find to shove in our maws. We drove off, realizing ours was the only car in the parking lot and that we had had the whole mountain to ourselves.