In Korea, I am a two year old

One of my biggest frustrations about being in Korea is the powerlessness I feel in the face of all things Korean. By this I mean that because I don't speak the language, I find that I can do very little for myself. And today, this inability to do something for myself feels like I'm being robbed of my adulthood, my autonomy, and my sanity. Here's the thing: about three weeks ago, my phone stopped being able to make outgoing calls or to send text messages. When I tried to make a call, a voice (surprisingly speaking in English) told me that the account holder (in other words, me) had made the decision not to allow any calls or texts to be made. Unless I was high on peyote, I did not make this decision.

Back home, I would take the matter in hand and get to the bottom of it, by golly. I would call the company, give them more details about the situation than they could possibly need and fix the problem. I like doing this sort of thing. Not only is it about having control over my own life, but it has to do with the satisfaction of fixing a problem on my own, of depending on no other person to make right what was wrong. I've already had to relinquish control in a lot of situations here, and sometimes that is good and fine and probably healthy for me, but in other situations, it's just bullcrap.


So, in my fashion, I set out to fix my phone problem. First, of course, I had to figure out what company I actually had an account with. Sounds easy enough. Sounds, in fact, like I should have known this when I signed up for the phone. Nope. No idea. There are four different names splattered all over my cell phone--Cyon, Qook, Show, LG. WTF. They all sound like plausible phone company names to me. Finally figured out it was Show (at least, I think it is) and stumbled around on their website, which, naturally and appropriately, is in Korean. Tried to suss out some of the language, but couldn't. I can read Hangul (the Korean alphabet), but have no idea what any of it means. So, I gave up for a while. I hardly ever use my phone here anyway, and Joe's was working just fine.

But then I got irritated too many times when, forgetting that I couldn't send a message, I'd try to shoot off a text to someone only to find a big ole FAIL message pop up on my screen. So, I relinquished control. I asked my boss, Ms. Suh, if she could call the company and find out what the deal was. She called. And told me that they said I hadn't paid my bill. Well, isn't that funny, because I signed up with direct debit the day I got the phone. I told her that didn't make much sense since Joe's phone was still working just fine and his account is linked to mine. She said she didn't know what to do right then, and I told her no big deal; we'd deal with it later. Meanwhile, she went off to Spain for winter vacation.

That brings us to today. Feeling particularly moody, ineffectual, and without purpose, I decided to re-tackle the issue of the phone and fix the problem myself. I wanted to see if I couldn't get a little self-satisfaction from doing something on my own again. Searched around for an English version of my phone company's website which ultimately proved fruitless. Once again, tried to read the overly bright and overly animated Korean website. No dice. Found a customer service number and decided to give it a shot, but I couldn't get past the first introductory remarks in Korean because, I am guessing, I needed to select an option. After pushing a bunch of buttons like a loon and getting no real result, I hung up. Even tried to log in to my online account, which I have never done before, and was met with a bunch of jumbled fonts since my computer doesn't recognize Hangul. So, now I was trying to figure out the cypher to crack the code of a fake language. Puh-leeze.

So, I gave in, and called my co-teacher, Ms. Park. After explaining the situation to her, she called the company for me. Two minutes later, she calls me back and says that actually my account is under Ms. Suh's name and not my own. The hackles on my neck rise up. Of course. Of course it's under Ms. Suh's name, because I am a child and can't do anything on my own in this country. What's more, because it is under her name and of course we don't know her secret code or her personal ID number, Show/Qook/Cyon/LG won't give Ms. Park any information about the account. And Ms. Suh has long since left for Spain.

So. Back at square one. A lot of time has been wasted, a lot of energy expended, a lot of tantrums thrown. It's like I've re-entered my terrible twos when I'm realizing that I am separate from my parents and why won't they just accept that and let me eat paste if I want to! Korea--let me be an adult!!! Sigh. I'll have to wait until next week when Ms. Suh is back from Spain, so that she can call for me again, and this time really get to the bottom of everything. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking: dear God, what if the bill really hasn't been paid? What if Show/Qook/Cyon/LG hasn't been direct debiting my account since September, and I now owe hundreds of dollars? Yup--there it is: the beginnings of another tantrum.