Gripes

Well, I'll say it: I'm getting pretty fed up with being stared at. I'm also just about ready to karate chop someone in the neck if they get in my personal space again. I knew that the staring would happen before I came here; ditto for the personal space issue. Probably most of us who came here to teach did our research about the differences between this culture and our own. I felt prepared to deal with these differences--after all, knowing is half the battle, right? I think I did alright, anger-wise, for the first month or so. But now, I'm having a real hard time not swearing at old Korean ladies when they push my cart aside at E-Mart (our mega grocery store) so they can haul ass to the escalator, only to stand there and enjoy the slow descent. I was actually attempting some passive agressive behavior with said woman, all the while realizing the total futility in my under-the-breath commentary. I don't understand the pushing and the pore-viewing closeness that people think is alright. I saw a woman, totally oblivious of all other cart-pushing shoppers, just push her cart into people and carts alike, as she leisurely perused the aisle, chatted on her cell phone, and barely kept her daughter from falling out of the cart. Some guy rammed his cart into someone's else's and made no more than a show of being sorry at all. And the woman whose cart he rammed into didn't even give him a second look. I was pissed at both of them! Anyone want to say "I'm sorry" or "That's ok" or have a jolly laugh together over the hilarity of centripetal force? Not a chance, because no one seems to acknowledge that other people exist. I don't like this. I am being as open-minded as I can, recognizing cultural differences, trying to identify ways in which this is ok and posseses its own benefits. I'm failing. I just find everyone to be exceedingly rude, pushy, and obnoxious. The only time that people do seem to make eye contact in stores is when they are doing the irritating staring that so many people do when they see "Westerners." Joe has gotten over it, he says. He doesn't even notice it anymore. I have not gotten over it, and he is definitely the better person in this situation. I am cultivating a quiet seethe. I've started staring back, with an apathetic (let's be honest and say bitchy) half-hooded gaze. In my mind I'm thinking, "if I could level you with a stare, I would do it."

All this leads me to think about cultural diversity, something that I see now I took for granted in the states. I keep thinking that if Korean people were in America, no one would look twice at them, and how dare they look twice at me. But then I have to remind myself that Korea is a homogeneous country, that this is the lay of the land. The fact that it is homogeneous bothers me in a strange way, and I can't say I'm proud of that, or even know how to categorize that feeling at all. I find myself resenting what I perceive as the "sameness" of everyone, which of course, isn't truly the case . . . there are undoubtedly a lot of influences here: Chinese, Japanese, Russian, etc. I just can't see it.

I don't mean to say that the people in Daegu are rude in general. They aren't, but I wouldn't say that Daegu is a particularly friendly city either, despite what my research told me before coming here. When we went to Busan, which is a larger city than Daegu, (and could be considered more indifferent or less friendly or more hustle bustle because of its size), we immediately felt welcomed. So many people went out of their way to help us and to smile at us. I'm feeling the lack of that here. Or maybe it's just because E-Mart is a terrible place, akin to Wal-mart, and that horrible people gravitate there. One thing is certain: I need to get my act together. I can't exist in a cloud of silent fury, cursing every old Korean lady under my breath, even if she did push me out of the way to grab a pack of ramen.